I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
