Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
