Im at strip club and am horny
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
