you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
do herpes really smell.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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