hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
