Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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