i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
