You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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