my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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