didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
