sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
