I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize