You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
