well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just found puke in my bra..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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