Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
