Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
