So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I would fuck him just for his dog
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
