My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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