the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
