I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
