dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
