someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
