You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
whose parrot is this?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
