No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
