I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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