One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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