Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
