would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize