I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
