My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize