It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I think my fart just growled at me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
