i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
