i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
