toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm at about main and main street
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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