i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
