What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
