are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
