I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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