I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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