Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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