I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
