Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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