Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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