I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
did you just send me my own nude
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
