why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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