Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
