I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
