Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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