this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
