girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You pole danced in your parka.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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