I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
