i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
