I've blown a few things in my day
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
