So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
