Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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