if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
