Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
