The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
