Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
