Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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