I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
