Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
