How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
