What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
