this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
