I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
