is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
