I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I checked into jail on foursquare
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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