My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
