i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
