You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
