I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
