I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
