I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
