"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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