You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize