Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
love makes seman taste better
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
