well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
