Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
