I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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